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On Grief and Being Human

  Believe it or not, the common preconception of a stoic is wrong.   Which works nicely with the fact that stoics challenge people to question their preconceptions.   I have already used the lame joke that stoics are not Vulcans – they do not seek to suppress emotions.   If anything, stoics are incredibly honest about where our emotions come from – and whether that is appropriate.   One of my cats died on December 24 th , two minutes to midnight.   We saw it coming, he was declining and we were struggling trying to get him to eat and he started seeking the coolness of our bathtub.   We had hoped he could make it through the holidays and allow us to give him a death with dignity.   Instead, he took a turn for the worst, panted, gasped, and died in my wife’s arms. I will not apologize for writing a post about grieving a cat.   He was a member of my family. While the Stoics aimed for a state of emotional tranquility (apatheia), they did not advocate for the suppression of all emotio
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If it was easy, everybody would do it

  Stoic philosophy is deceptively simple: focus on what you can control, view your emotions as reactions to situations and evaluate them to see if your impressions are rational, bring your desires in line with the rational universe. Except that none of this is easy.   Imagine yourself in your professional life.   I am a lawyer who is heavily involved in motion practice and advocacy.   This means I need to know and understand the underlying law, the court’s rules, and methods of persuasion.   A teacher needs to know the subject matter and different educational theories and practices.   A surgeon needs to understand anatomy and be aware on how to access and repair different parts of the body.   Everybody’s knowledge and skill is learned and honed over a long period of time.   And we all can fail. After significant preparation, I can still lose a hearing.   After preparing an amazing lesson plan, a teacher can still encounter a student who is disruptive and does not respond to the u
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Virtue is the only good

  Everybody wants to be happy.   While clearly not everybody IS, everybody WANTS to be happy.   We can have all sorts of discussions about what happiness is or about the social nature of mankind.   Folks chase happiness with things, actions, relationships.   People seek happiness, not knowing what that is or how to achieve it.   Even in our darkest times, if asked whether we would like to be happy, nobody will decline. We frequently just have no idea how to achieve this. Philosophers from all ages and schools have generally tried to ponder two things: how to understand the universe – and honestly, good luck with that – and how to achieve happiness.   Stoics are no different and when it came to happiness, stoicism could be summarized in the simple “virtue is the only good.” Whatever that means. In 58 AD the Stoic Philosopher Seneca wrote to his older brother and sent him an essay called “On the happy life.”   His opening made it clear that while happiness is the goal, actively p
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Live Laugh Love

  When I worked at Barnes & Noble, a customer once asked if I could show her the self-help section.   I asked if that didn’t defeat the purpose.   True story.   Self-improvement advice is everywhere.   From online articles to entire sections in bookstores, quotes on throw pillows, Ted talks, YouTube videos, and weird lawyers blogging when they just discovered a cool philosophy.   There are self-help and self-improvement gurus everywhere.   But quite frequently the focus is on how to become more successful or learn techniques to get what you want.   The improvement being sold is still focused on bending the environment to our wishes.   Stoicism is different. When Epictetus was asked how a person could improve relations with a brother, he replied “Philosophy does not claim to secure for us anything outside of our control.”   He further felt that a desire to have one’s wishes fulfilled, regardless of the reasons behind them was madness and insanity.   Put simply, stoic philosoph
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Don't Worry - Be Happy

  If you are old enough – keep in mind the 80s were 40 years ago – just hearing the words “don’t worry, be happy” will trigger musical memories and an almost compulsive desire to sing “Don't worry (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) Be happy!”   Bobby McFerrin’s 1988 Reggae Acapella hit that ended up winning the Grammy for Song of the Year and topped an insane number of charts was everywhere and in its ubiquitous presence was described as a formula for facing life’s trials. Granted, Village Voice also called it one of the worst songs ever, but seriously, what do they know. Lyrical issues aside, there is something … stoic … about the song.   Don’t worry – be happy.   The Stoics through its many philosophers explored the many facets of virtue and the importance of virtue as the sole approach to happiness.   Which is just a fancy way of saying that indeed the goal of life is happiness.   According to the Daily Stoic: “It's the pursuit of virtue and good character that allows us to experience e
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The Legal Stoic

  This is my inaugural post in “the legal stoic.”   We are all on the level – where you might not know what you can get out of this blog, I surely do not yet know what I can impart or teach.   In fact, I view our relationship less like teacher and student and more like a collection of students trying to learn together.   As such, I value your comments, thoughts, and criticisms.   If my words and thoughts seem to be in error to you, please let me know.   I am at the beginning of my stoic journey and as of yet do not even know what I do not know.   My goal is to share my thoughts and then engage in discussion with my fellow stoic students.   I will value each opportunity to grow and adjust my stoic path. I am married.   I have four children who are my world.   I am a Christian, an American, and a lawyer.   All of these facts influence my character.   They will influence my blog.   The first reason I started my blog was to write about how a stoic lawyer would think.   I will got to it a
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